Success isn’t always about numbers. Sometimes, it’s really about your behaviour and attitude.
Sales and management process consultant Nema Semnani says that more often, people judge themselves based on outcomes–either they sold something or not.
However, that attitude will only bring in a rollercoaster of emotions especially if the result is negative.
“You can’t manage anything you can’t control. Don’t manage your numbers, manage your behaviour,” Semnani said during a Greater Property Group Mastermind Meeting.
Semnani is the founder and president of Precision Sales Consulting, which is a licensed Sandler Training company based in Virginia. Precision Sales Consulting aims to help individuals and other companies drive revenue and profitability through skills training and coaching.
Semnani is a talented public speaker who believes in the science of storytelling. This also explains his love for movies, which anyone can clearly tell from his knack for referencing movies in his presentations.
In fact, during our Mastermind Meeting, he talks about the movie Kindergarten Cop, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, when talking about DISC behavioural styles.
The sales and management coach also referenced Kobe Bryant when talking about perfecting the basics in order to be the best.
Here are some of the things Semnani covered during our Mastermind meeting:
3:09 – 4:42: Why Kobe Bryant was the best player in the world–he never got tired of the basics.
7:47 – 8:30: We judge ourselves based off of our outcomes, which shouldn’t be the case.
10:28 – 11:54: Whatever can be done behaviourally can be checked.
12:18 – 12:40: Identifying behaviours – building a weekly / monthly behavioural plan with number targets.
16:57 – 17:48: Behaviour drives attitude and attitude reinforces behaviour.
18:54 – 20:35: Why Kindergarten Cop is the best movie representing DISC behaviour.
21:15 – 21:51: Treat others the way they liked to be treated.
21:54 – 22:00: Buyers don’t get paid to change the way they buy; we get paid to change the way we sell.
24:55 – 25:13: Situation – action – result technique
25:56 – 27:26: Get to know CAPS–characteristics, alternatives, problems / pains, signs / symptoms.
29:22 – 29:36: Nature of referral conversation
35:18 – 36:06: The best way to be treated differently is to act differently and it requires us to confront the attitude that not everyone is a good fit for us.
36:51 – 37:12: We can gain instant credibility by saying something seemingly not in our best interest followed by everything in our best interest.
39:11 – 40:20: Lessons learned from the movies Glengarry Glen Ross and Tommy Boy.
42:03 – 42:07: If your ideal customer is everyone, your ideal customer is no one.
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Contact Nema Semnani
Nema Semnani GPG Mastermind Transcript
It’s Nema is the founder and president of position sales consulting, which is a Sandler training company dedicated to helping individuals and companies drive revenue and profitability through scalable sales training management, training, coaching, and process development. Nema has spent his career driving sales management, and process implementation.
Fortune 500 companies, as well as developing sales processes, sales training programs, building sales teams, and leading business development for innovative startups. Nema is an award-winning speaker who specializes in the art of science and science of storytelling. That’s true. Nema enjoys. There’s a film nerd with an encyclopedia mental database of useless movie quotes and a very amateur standup comedian.
Having performed at the world famous Caroline’s on Broadway Nema. Welcome to the greater property group mastermind meeting on this Tuesday morning. Glad to have you. How’s the weather in Washington, DC bruising. I really appreciate you guys having me. It’s an absolute pleasure. so, we got, I think roughly 30 minutes or so, together.
Let me put that time into context here. So not too far away from where I am in Fairfax, Virginia, outside of Washington, DC, there’s a young, real estate professional who walked into a doctor’s office. The doctor said bad news, the son, you only have 30 minutes to live. And the real estate guy was obviously very distraught.
He said, doc, 30 minutes. What about. He says, well, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to zoom in to this mastermind group and they’re having this conversation around sales process development. I want you to sit in and the guy’s like, doc, that sounds a little crazy. If I do that will cure me. He said no, but it will be the longest 30 minutes.
Of your life here. The first obviously is not to make as long as 30 minutes of your life. I do a few things I’ll share. I’ll go in that a screen-share share a few things. I will definitely not get through all the slides. and really, I think Dave and I are going to kind of have a facilitated conversation to make sure we’re talking about what’s going on in your world.
One things I love the most. Because I never have to be the smartest person in the room. If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room. So the goal here is to have you all share your genius so I can learn, we can learn from each other. so, Dave is 100% correct. he’s very serious about his hair.
I’m seasonal. I beard, first-generation Iranian American, which means I’m 38 years old. My beard is 34 years. I’m just kidding. I shoot an hour ago. It just comes back with a fury every single time. I tried to take it down a notch. So I’m going to share something real, real quick with you. and again, in and out of SlideShare, but, I have a question.
Anyone here, a Kobe Bryant canyon, anyone it will, they call me. That’s that’s why, that’s what I call you. I didn’t know what else called you. I thought I was special. So, I, I, I love the story about Kobe. So, one of my friends, some of you guys may know him. Alan Stein wrote this book called raise your game.
Now, Alan is a performance coach. He works with high performers in athletics, Kevin Duran, Coby, and so on in 2007, Kobe Bryant is the best player on the planet. And so Alan asks COVID. I would love to come and watch and workout. Kobe says, no problem. Come to the gym. Here’s the address I get there at 4:00 AM.
Now, Alan thinks, you know what, I’m going to get there early and surprise Coby. So he gets there at three 30. Well, no surprise. Colby’s already there. He’s already working out. He’s drenched in sweat. So about an hour and a half, Alan watches, Colby. The most basic things is doing layup drills. He’s doing three-step pivots.
He’s doing free throws and Alan is confused. And so after he’s done, Alan asked Colby who’s Colby. You were the greatest player on the planet. I just want you to do an hour and a half of the most basic stuff ever. And so Colby says, why do you think I’m the best player in the world ounces? Well, I don’t know.
That’s why I asked. He says, because I never taught. Of doing the basics. So before we get anything, anything, and I have a question for you, we’ll pop you some of the basics, some of the things that, you know, you’ve done currently doing that has led you to become successful. There’s a inside joke within Sandler, which is, it works so well.
We stopped doing it. So who’d like to share what is something that may be considered basically. Maybe we’ve gotten away from, or maybe we’ve gotten back into it. Paul, from your chair, what is something basic that we are doing have done stop doing? We could focus on, anyone can share
asking for referrals. I love that. All right, Michael, make sure you add me on a PS4 for, some call of duty after.
Well, Michael was the Kobe of asking for referrals door knocking, open houses, open houses. Yeah, open houses. Very good. What else? Anything making the call. All right. I love it. So I’m in a. I think Dave, you know, we’re going to have a conversation. This is an open conversation. I do not profess to know everything or even anything that I matter.
I can promise you we’ll have a great time in the next 25 minutes. So roughly speaking, you know, here’s some of the things that I feel are general aspects that no matter what industry you’re in. Are some of the basics that sometimes we become a victim of our own success. I call it a success paradox early on.
It’s easy to do these things. Then we get busy. We get away from them. So roughly speaking, we’ll probably talk a little about differentiation. It might not be what you think. We’ll talk about this idea of building a cookbook, managing behavior and, and Michael. Basically, you’ve seen this movie before apparently, or he’s a psychic or both, because we’ll talk about how to build an active referral generation economy.
And one of the best ways to do that is via storytelling. So in a pause again, and Dave chime in, if you have any questions, we can kind of tee off that conversation and roll into it. Yeah. Yeah. You were talking about the. Cookbook there w like, what are some behaviors, attitudes, techniques that then ensure sales success in your opinion?
So it’s a great question. And I think, I mean, we could take it in order, I suppose, because there is at least one. There’s at least one attitude. There’s at least one technique. behaviorally speaking, I think one of the, I don’t want to call it a fallacy or a paradox or just a trap we fall into is we are all in this business, obviously.
And by the way, awesome to share on the highlight reel agreed 100% seeking to provide value. seeking to help that old classic Zig Ziglar line, you can get whatever you want in life by first, helping others get what they want in life. so, but really what happens I think is we judge ourselves based off of our outcomes.
I either sold something didn’t sell something. And that leads to, for me, this kind of roller coaster of emotions. So, I, I think that. Initial aha for me, which probably I encountered seven or eight years ago is you can’t manage anything you can’t control. And I’m not saying we don’t want to sell.
Obviously we do. We’re here to help our clients and help our families and do well for ourselves while doing good. One of the biggest things I suggest people take a step back and focus on the basics is manage your numbers, your outcomes only, but instead managing your behavior. And here, anyone here work out consistently?
Yeah. I mean, I personally am familiar with the gym. I know it exists. I’ve even seen. and I technique wise I’m really good at the Peloton and the bench. attitude. I do want to get in shape. I like that, but here’s the problem. I love Cal zones who here’s, how to Cal zone. They’re like the pizza and sandwiches.
So technique wise, I know what I’m doing. Attitude wise. I may not move into sacrifices in behavior. Don’t necessarily go to the gym as often as I maybe should. So there’s a cookbook, it’s a behavioral plan. Every few people go to the gym and they just kind of just go there and just walk around and kind of just do whatever it comes to mind the workout regimen.
If you’re a weight trainer, maybe you’re splitting it up and do chest and triceps or back and biceps or shoulders and legs. As the old saying goes never skipped leg day. but the point is you tend to build a cadence of certain exercises you do, and you have metrics behind it. Now your metric probably isn’t, I’m going to lift 300 pounds.
That’s an outcome. It’s really more of no, I’m going to get. Three sets of X period of time with the end result being Y. So this is a brief example. Behavioral plan does not have to be yours ever to whether it’s door knocking, referral meetings, networking events, virtually as erection calls, people who maybe were in the markets and for whatever reason, Sometimes it’s unfortunate for them.
Income became strained or the inventory wasn’t there and we don’t put it on our behavioral plan to back out to them. Whatever can be done. Behaviourally can be tracked. I’m big on being on vulnerability. And transparency. This is my cookbook, literally. I have a set number of cold dials. And on that in your business, I’m the business of sales training mentioned training process development.
But yeah, I will reach out to people who may not know me, have a goal for referrals that I’m going to ask. Not always the referrals I’m going to get, but I’m going to do the behavior to ask LinkedIn is a big part of my behavioral plan, thought leadership. Guess what? Counts as a cookbook item. I’m already checking off my behavior just by being here.
Obviously Ang, we know that whole mantra. Emerson’s law of competence. I’m going to track the referrals and interactions I give to others. As one of the speakers from the bootcamp, this is a real highlight. Reel was the idea of also taking to provide value. So you can give to others, Joel, networking events.
This probably counts those speaking gigs. This probably counts, and I’m tracking a few things. Metric wise, I personally track kind of four or five things. Net new conversations, number of invoices paid. That’s how I track it. Conversations for money, always deposited and dollars put under contracts. That’s what I track yours will be different.
And the point is that while, and obviously I have workouts and journaling on there as well, but whatever those behaviors that you do for five things, my suggestion, the basic is to track it. Like we track anything else and incentivize the behavior, not only the. So it could be as simple as this, literally as simple as this, a piece of yellow pad, it doesn’t really matter what works for you.
This could be a simple cookbook, your thought leadership out there there’s a week or a journal, or you can journal, practice your technique, LinkedIn InMails, mindfulness followup, or capture, and recon. We can talk about that. Say referral generation. I guess, format. So I’m going to pause there. but right off the bat, again, super sexy.
Probably not basic. Yes. But my question is how often do we track these things insistently and maybe you all do? I think for me, a lot of times, I forget to track my behavior and. Inspect what we expect. It’s hard to really know what success looks like. Yeah. I would agree with that a hundred percent.
We’ve said a lot on these mastermind meetings, one of the most successful real estate agents in the history of real estate agents was Craig Proctor. And what did he do? Remember what he did three times a week, he would set aside two hours, three times a week, and nothing replaced that time to call this prospect’s back.
He called that rainmaking activity, right? He kept his pipeline full. So real estate agents, you know, a lot of us, what happens is, you know, we’re chasing that next carrot or we close a handful of deals and we’ve taken our foot off the pedal. Of what filled that pipeline in the first place, nothing replaces the rainmaking activity.
Right. And unless we journal it or have a cookbook like Nema is talking about, we’re going to have a tough time tracking that. Right. You know, we get to the end of it after three months and we go, oh, damn, I should’ve been making calls three months ago. Right. You know how that works. And if you’ve been in sales, Long enough, as long as many of us have been, you know what happens, right?
You gotta keep that, you gotta keep your foot on the pedal, right? You gotta keep your pipeline full. So that’s super important now, NEMA what’s interesting is, we just came through a year. Like really weird lockdown, the mindset of the average sales agent sales professional. not that they’re, they need to find new motivation, right?
They have to get that drive to get off the couch, to get out of quarantine, to get out there, to do, the things that’ll make them successful in the closed sales that might be easier said than done. Because we’ve had a year of kind of sitting back, trying to figure out how to work zoom and do what these virtual sales calls.
What can you say about like mindset challenges that the average sales professional might have? It’s a great question. It took me probably, I was probably 15 years into my selling career before I actually realized I misunderstood the relationship between behavior and attitude. and, and here’s what I mean by this.
Anyone here workout anyone here? Morning exercisers. Okay. It doesn’t matter if you are or not, but I think maybe the example resonate. So this morning my alarm goes off at 5:00 AM. It’s really cold outside. You probably have seen there’s this crazy vortex coming through the, the Atlantic area where I’m at outside DC.
And so it’s 20, which by the way, you guys are going to say 20 degrees, that’s nothing, you know, stopping a baby, but whatever, I’m not used to it. So, it’s 20 degrees. my bed is super comfortable. I got one of those gravity blankets, right? It’s like, I’m just like swaddled in the comfort of my lovely warm bed.
It’s 5:00 AM. And I had told myself the day before, I’m gonna wake up and go exercise. I’m going to begin my day in the deep recesses of my mind. There’s a lot of internal, rational rationalization going on. One of the things that human beings have with. Resilient aspect of our nature is our ability to rationalize.
I can rationalize eating the piece of pizza cause I’ll work out twice as hard, but eat a water stick. You may know in a celery, but the bottom line is we’re really good at rational. So here’s what happens in the bed. I hit snooze a few times and I’m saying, I’ll do it afterwards. I have a gap in my schedule.
I’ll work out at noon and that’s fine. Even deeper in the recess of my brain is that little voice that says no name. Get up, go to the gym. You will feel better. So I drag myself out. I go to my closet, I’m muttering to myself the entire time, you know, sales is stupid. No one wants to hear you talk anyway, go back to bed.
whatever the case may be, but then eventually go to the gym. And how do I feel after I have. Like you accomplished something. I accomplished something. So I know it seems simple, but I really think that people think attitude drives behavior. I firmly believe behavior drives attitude and attitude reinforces behavior.
And so as far as, whatever the mindset is, and I, and I’m big into, you know, disc right behavioral profiles. You could probably guess if any guys have done this before, Basically the highest high I on the extroversion, I’m like basically blowing up the top of that frappe. The last year I have had my gas tank on E because I’m not around people.
I get energized being around people. So it’s been really hard. So the response to the question that David is, is, I think the best way to improve the mindset, these activities is to engage in behavior, whatever that is. Kudos to you all because you’re doing it right now. Hopefully this is a behavior that then also improves attitude and mindset.
Yeah. that’s a good point. You brought up the disc, actually. Let’s just sidebar for a quick minute on, on the desk, the importance of reading your client, knowing their personality, and selling to them the way they want to be sold to. Can you speak to the importance of that and how it relates to sales?
I, you know, I’ve said to the agents time and time again, we’ve done a disc workshop, but probably not from, you know, we haven’t been trained by NEMA obviously, but, selling to people the way they want to be sold to the importance of the disc. Can you touch on. Yeah, no problem. And by the way, David, give me like a five minute warning.
So I kinda know when you want me to, to kind of land the point. Yeah, no, we’re good. We’re good. Yeah. Don’t worry about that. So who here is seeing the best movie of all time and of course I’m talking about kindergarten cop, I think. I mean, clearly it’s, it’s, it’s a toss up between Armageddon number one, kindergarten cop number two.
But what do you think about kindergarten cop? And this is maybe because I’m a child of the nineties. I didn’t realize that kindergarten cop is really the best disk exercise. There is the movie for those who haven’t seen it, I’m going to ruin it for you. So you have like kindergarten cop dude. but that movie really, and it’s going to give you a high overview.
The high D style, if you’re a dominant, you know, task oriented, you know, the, the, what’s not the Y driver on a style, you have the, I style, I’m kind of an ID. So I’m kind of equal parts ID, influencer, social, outgoing, optimistic, and we have our S styles, the steady relaters, maybe a little slower to make decisions, care more about the team.
really just maybe needs in some patients, if it can’t be done completely correctly, is it worth doing at all and then see styles, your analytical styles. So, kindergarten cop, when you think about it is Arnold Schwartz. The highest D in the world, this hard-nosed detective and overnight has to teach kindergarten, which is like the highest S style behavior.
And so those who wear the movie, he tries to be the high beam, you know, who is your daddy? And what does he do kind of thing. Right. And then realize it’s half, like the way it’s not going to work. He changes behavior, takes a softer approach. And then. Has success in reaching the children, but here’s the thing at the end of the day, he goes into his motel room and crashes face first onto the bed because it is exhausting.
He is stretching himself so far outside of his natural tendency that it causes energy depletion. So disc is three things. People tend to know the first two, the third they forget about the first do is disk is how we tend to communicate with others in our hardwired setting, how we tend to want to be communicated to in our hardwired setting.
And the third is where we gain and where we lose energy. So I think there are certain things that we’re taught as children that the spirit of the rules. Use the wrong language. So, Dave, for complete the sentence for me, if you don’t mind treat others the way. They want to be treated. So yeah, a lot of times it’s treats others the way you’d want to be treated when it’s actually more treat others the way they’d like to be treated.
Not everyone will be treated the same way. So as far as how this factors in a lot of times salespeople where people go, don’t ask their clients how they wish to be sold. Maybe not in those, those, those words then about that, the language, but we actually can ask people what they are hoping to accomplish and how would they would like this information presented to them and understand in advance.
Even though we have a templates, we can adapt. And modify our process to match theirs buyers. Don’t get paid to change the way they buy. We get paid to change the way we sell. And so sometimes can you say that again, reflect that buyers don’t get paid to change the way they buy. We get paid to change the way we.
Whoa. Did you guys write that down? Who’s taking notes here. Write that down. I should do the George Constanza leave on top thing, right? Like thanks, NEMA. Take care of, yeah. Take one more time. What was that? Do you mind repeating that for those taking notes? Cause, oh, just write this down and put it on your foreheads and speak about it when you lie down and when you get up, what is it?
buyers don’t get, sorry, buyers. Don’t get paid to change the way they buy. We get paid to change the way we sell. Boom. Well, well said story to sorta, interrupt the flow there. I apologize now. No, no, this is, this is the flow. So, so I think we kind of talked on the behavior side, David or anyone else, what else is on your mind?
But David, I don’t know if you had other question for me. I did, w we was brought up earlier, you know, we were talking about the lowest hanging fruit of agents, and that was a referrals. Can you speak on referrals and the importance of just asking for the business, you know, We can double our business seemingly overnight, just by asking for referrals.
You know, the agents that do the most business closes the most deals. They just simply ask for referrals. Agents, don’t ask for the most part for referrals, we closed the deal. And then we, you know, we move on to the next, but we can, you know, like I said, we can, you know, double our business really, really quick.
If we just asked for referrals, can you touch on that? Yeah. So if the behavior is putting a target on your cookbook that you’re going to reach out to, and whether it’s a client that you have. get into their home or it’s a referral partner. That behavior part is actually setting a targets and attempting to hit that target, not the outcome, but the behavior to have a target.
If my goal was to ask for three, even if I got zero, but I asked for. I accomplished my goal. So then the technique, and then maybe what might be helpful is I’ll just kind of share with you something, you can see my screen, I assume. Yep. So, one of the things, and this is more of a step code and, those, you know, Seth Godin, the, he says everyone is not your customer.
and maybe I would modify that to say, not everyone deserves the beautiful. and so even though this might seem simple is, there’s always, I would have people go through, this will even the referral is you have a favorite client or customer. What was their world like before they met you? What were their frustrations, challenges, opportunities.
Why they also decide to take action. What is their world like because of your solution and then a simple storytelling format, a situation, actual results. And so when you think about it, because I think it’s easy to view what we do. And by that, I mean what you do as yes, we, we, we help people. We help people buy and sell homes.
Yeah, I’ll come. And I think someone else, David May have been you as far as like, that is like a by-product of what we do. but we actually think about this then what happens is we can, whether we call it a 32nd impartial opinion indicator, a small vignette is we can put a little craft. vignettes, they give her ideal prospect and I would, and I would, I found this lie, but I would write down this acronym, caps, as in I’m wearing a cap C a P S, and that stands for characteristics, alternatives, pains, or problems, signs, and symptoms.
So characteristics, alternatives, pains, or problems, finding and symptoms. And, so characteristics and I mean, try to get within the realm of possibility, granular as to what you’re asking for. it’s one of my pet peeves when. Any kind of events. And when someone starts off there for a second commercial or a story with my ideal client is anyone.
Then I kind of stopped listening. I can’t listen for everyone in anyone. So characteristics are the exact characteristics that, you know, fits into your ideal. Demographic now, I don’t know if that’s a certain part of the countries or part of the area, a certain type of, you know, of, of people who are buying people newly married, empty nesters doesn’t really matter.
But we have to know are our characteristics, alternatives really is what else could they do without working with you? Work with someone else, cut out an agent entirely and save money, going directly to the seller, whatever that stuff. Pains and problems be probably know it is in signs and symptoms. So the reason why that’s important, how that relates to our referral conversation is then we can help train our people who do want to help us make introductions for us, because here’s the thing I own a company.
And some of you guys may have even heard of Sandler training, possibly, but I own a company and what we do. Is sales training, managing training process development, which is great. Even if after this session, you find the remotely credible. Even the flight is the entertaining and kind of like Andy, Garcia’s slightly better looking younger brother.
The bottom line is if I’m going to ask you for a referral, here’s what you’re gonna say. You’ll say, well, I can’t think of anyone, but I will keep you in mind. We have to make it easy for them. By painting these little stories of what are the characteristics, the alternatives, the pains, and problems, signs, and symptoms, and the signs and symptoms.
Become some of the most impactful things they can look for. They can think of, cause I’m going to use the term commodity, but I don’t mean it in a negative way. I mean that it’s easily to feel commoditized because maybe just, maybe people’s assumption as to someone who’s in real estate is that every one of you are created.
Exactly. And you can all do the same thing. And the only way to really differentiate is to act differently I suppose, and to show up differently. so I’ll give you one, I guess acronym, it may not be entirely relevant, but, It’s the nature of a referral conversation. You may use parts of this, or you may use all of it.
It’s called recon transfer for remember evaluate changes, opportunities, next steps. And I wrote there are I for right? And they’re not. So whether we’re teeing up a referral conversation with what I would call a synergistic Alliance partner of some kind, which basically is not someone who’s. Is a prospect or someone we’ve worked with, but someone who is a great refer to us, maybe it’s a custom home builder that when things don’t fit into their sweet spot, they may refer to us.
Whatever that looks like is a lot of times what happens is we need to take them back in time as in, Hey Dave, can you remember why. In particular, you, in this instance invited me to come to speak to your group right there. That’s a remember, can you remember required or were called why we started working together in the first place because XYZ, you know, doesn’t really matter necessarily.
Alright, so evaluate, and this is the tricky part. if I ask someone to evaluate their experience, working with me, most people are very, very nice people. They are going to say. Then, if it’s terrible, you probably wouldn’t ask them that. But no matter what their first response is great, we have to give them permission to give us real feedback because most people are conflict-avoidant.
So the evaluate oftentimes is, Hey Dave, listen, if they’re appreciate the kind words I’m always looking to improve that there was one thing that maybe we could have done more of, we could have done differently. What would that thing be? And that’s the real evaluation. Yeah. Changes positive or negative opportunities, next steps and so on.
So how this. Right testimonials. It’s amazing to me, how many times we don’t, I don’t even ask people. I have just put into their dream home. I don’t space, but for me owners, I’ve worked with, I’ll even ask them for a LinkedIn testimonial or a Google, my business review. I just don’t even take the behavior that step further.
And that is an outcome. An opportunity. Hey, I got to tell you in a world that we’re in one of the best ways that we get businesses from other happy customers, I don’t suppose you’d be willing. The testimonial for me that I could put on my website or Michael, my business. I really appreciate it. That. so bringing it all together, I’m going to stop sharing real quick and then, kick it back over to you.
Dave is, so when I’m teeing up a referral conversation, yes, half of it is actually just 90% of life is showing up. It’s just doing the behavior. But there’s a little bit of vulnerability there and there’s a format to it. Format could be some, I really appreciate it. Relationship. I’m so happy. I was able to help you.
I love our back and forth with our relationship. I got to tell you one of my biggest goals was to really expand my referral network. And I gotta tell ya I’m not necessarily the best at asking for referrals. Little bit of vulnerability. Is it okay if I share a couple situations in which I’m proving to be a really great fit, if someone comes to mind, maybe we can talk the introduction and if not, that’s okay too, because we always have to give them permission to say no for some time, they’re gonna say, well, of course, and that’s when you can throw in your little, your, your caps now, what, what’s the situation because we kind of know wholly in our head.
Wait when I’m in or not, we kind of maybe know what. Ideal client or customer may look like or sound like, or feel like if we don’t know what is we don’t we know what yes is either. So, I’m going to David, Nathan, anyone else? That’s my thoughts on the referral conversation. That was a clinic, a clinic on referrals.
That line, I’m not necessarily great at asking for referrals. I wrote that down NEMA. I wrote that down. because that, that is incredibly disarming, incredibly disarm. It takes that the whole dynamic of that situation that like, like take, ask, you know, obligate Tori kind of feeling, and it just throws it right out the window.
It’s such a release of the tension. I’m not necessarily great at asking for referrals. but you know, can you keep me in mind in this situation? That’s fantastic. And it reminded me so much of, of your intro. When you’re talking about Colby at 3:00 AM, 3:30 AM doing layups, you know, all of us know this, that wasn’t actually secret information, go ask for a referral.
Like that’s not secret information, but it’s part of that. It’s part of that list in the cookbook of basics that, that maybe we get away from, you know, just at a, a sheer. You know, you’re just like step-by-step and all of a sudden you’re so far away from the original things that you started on doing that, you know, they’re nowhere near.
Yeah. Fantastic. Well, I appreciate it. And I’m glad to use the term disarming because that’s something we talk a lot about. We call it disarming honesty, human beings. We are sure. We either think in Horistic or algorithms, a heuristic is a shortcut. And so we have conditioned responses. If I say, knock. You will say who’s there no matter what you’ve been conditioned through your entire life at knock knock equals who’s there.
nothing we do is intended to be manipulative. It’s not at all. It’s just the capital T truth of human interaction. And the problem with that, and this may be along the lines I met. Remember I mentioned I was going to talk about differentiation. A little bit, talk about cookbook, talk about referral four.
We’ve already kind of covered most of that already. but the, the best way to differentiate, and this will be true, no matter what industry you’re in, but if we want to really be treated differently, we have to act differently. And it requires us to confront the attitude that not everyone is a good fit for us because here’s the thing.
And this is powerful language. I know you guys really like, that the lines, I’m a big fan of talk tracks. So here’s one that I always use because it’s actually true. and you know, I’ll, I’ll give you the, kind of the, the psychology behind it, and then I’ll give you a demonstration. We can gain instant credibility by saying something seemingly not in our best interest.
Followed by everything in our best interest. We repeat that answer credibility by saying something seemingly not in our best interest, all buy everything in our best interest. And, and you guys gave an example of that. David Nathan early on with the, oh, I would listened that. That is a pattern interrupts they’re expecting you to Zig and zag.
So how does that actually translate to real sales interactions? It’s the truth? Here’s the truth. Oftentimes sounds like, you know, Nathan is looking to find which he wants to work with. Well, the power language is saying, well, listen, Nathan, I really appreciate you reaching out. I appreciate the conversation, the opportunity.
so I gotta tell you, I. Certainly, I think that we’re pretty good. We do, we’re not necessarily the right fit in every single situation. So would it make some sense to figure out what exactly we can accomplish? And if we think that we are the right fit to work together, great. We’ll talk about it. If not, that’s fine as well.
And it’s just the nature of disarming. Now find obviously that we are the right fit. That’s an example. Just a little bit of differentiation in a why I said it’s not really what we think sometimes. yeah. We also call it the takeaway too in sales. Right? Do the takeaway not for you wait, right? Yeah. And I think, and I think, you know, intent is the most important thing.
If, if we’re, if we’re doing a move to do a move and guess what, that’s what it is. It’s. Yeah, if we’re doing it because we genuinely are approaching people wanting to help, then, then it’s not, it’s just authentic. And. Yep. so I love that fantastic dude, guys, a big round of applause for NEMA. That was incredible.
We were in class. If we were in clubhouse, we’d say flasher. Mike’s right. NEMA flasher mix flasher mix. flashing mix, but, no, man, you nailed it. That was an absolute clinic. As it referred to a differentiation, attitudes and mindsets, you know, behavior, all of these things matter in sales and you were hearing from one of the best in the business, if not the best.
I’m partial. I’m partial because I really like NEMA. but NEMA is a reason why he’s so in demand and why he trains, you know, CEOs and leaders from fortune 500 companies. That’s because he’s the best at what he does. That was incredible. NEMA you, you nailed it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. and I know for a long time, but, I got.
Yeah. All right. So first of all, I appreciate all of you. my name is Nema . There’s not a lot of them out there. so you’ll probably find me on LinkedIn, NMA, S E M and a, and I I’ll throw that in the chat before I leave, but just, just real quick, before I kind of, not necessarily run away, but hand the mic back over to Dave and Nathan.
I, you guys recognize these movies. Yeah, I think when Gary Glen Ross, they’re both incredible sales movies. but what I would say is that, is as much as I love Glengarry Glen Ross always be closing. I don’t necessarily agree with the principle. I think as entertaining as it is it depicts salespeople in the wrong lights.
I don’t believe in always be closing. I believe in always be qualifying. and Tommy boy. May not have the best techniques necessarily, but it has one of the best mindset lessons that exist, which I know right now is not even. Inventory is scarce. I know it’s hard to feel as if we have half a pizza in the trunk, the famous chicken wings line.
Right. I didn’t care if I got the chicken wings. I got half a pizza in the trunk. So it’s a mindset. I know it’s not easy, but I would suggest we may not want to show up. Technique-wise like Tommy, but the mindset of, I want to earn your business. I don’t need your business. I’m here to help if I can. And my job is to help you make a great decision, is, is, is for me impactful.
So before I leave y’all with it, build momentum for your story, understand that there is between simple and easy. We started off talking about the basics and Kobe, but here’s what I mean by that. If I was to ask you to break a rock with a hammer, it’s a very simple concept. There’s a rock. There’s a hammer, hits the rock with the hammer for as hard and as long as he can, until it breaks simple, does it make it easy?
So understand that there were subpoena technical and conceptual. Here’s what this means. Technical is a skill, power. Conceptual is a willpower. So w whether whatever, whatever it is, you may technically no. How to ask for a referral, but conceptually not feel comfortable doing it. One of my colleagues, Carlos Grito in Miami, he says, when you add confidence to competence, you get conviction.
So understand the nature of the problem. If it’s something that you know how to do, but for some reason, you’re just not doing it. You have a literal, no pun intended mastermind group here that can help you work through any of the conceptual challenges, identify, understand your unfair advantage and be unreal unrelenting in your pursuit.
I will probably not be despite David’s kind words. I don’t. I think I’m the best sales train in the world, but I’m the best at being this guy. No one else can out NEMA NEMA I’m the NEMA NEMA that’s ever needed. And that is an unfair advantage that I have. Right. And last, not least if your ideal customer is everyone, your ideal customer is.
So understand a little bit about that. I’m gonna stop sharing. but Dave, any other questions? I’m happy to answer them. but otherwise thank you for having me, man. I, I, sorry, that was the Encore. I just realized they interrupted your, you were, you were bringing the referral thing full, full circle, and I completely interrupted that.
So we’ll call that the. I’m sorry, NEMA, I’m sorry. Again, big round of applause for NEMA I’m my, my texts are blowing up this guy’s amazing. You should see what I’m getting right now from people. So,